Colt Grenade Stroker

Your Dick. Your dick is pretty special. It's pretty hard. It's kind of fantastic. You think so, I'm sure. Your dick is SO special, in fact, SO hard ... that you really shouldn't being using to bang delicate lady parts. You should be penetrating a fucking grenade. That's right. A GRENADE. Does your penis deserve anything less?

The Grenade Masturbator understands that your penis isn't a mere power tool; it's the hammer of Thor. This stretchy masturbator is thick, soft and can take whatever kind of beating you give it. I mean, why have sex with a pretty girl when you can have sex with a lethal weapon?

One last thing about the Grenade Masturbator: this grenade doesn't explode; you do. Ok, that wasn't that great, but what do want? I'm writing this drunk.