The Fist of Fury - Like a Long-Distance Punch in the Face
- Fist of Fury
- The next best thing to punching someone in the face
- Tell them to go fist themselves
If there's somebody you want to punch in the face but don't want to go to jail, we suggest sending them the Fist of Fury instead. It'll get the message across. ShopInPrivate's Revenge category lets you anonymously get your payback.
The German language has a unique word in it with no English equivalent: Backpfeifengesicht. Roughly translated, this word means “a face badly in need of a fist.” Maybe you didn’t know about this word until now, but chances are good you definitely already knew someone it applies to. In which case, chances are also pretty good that you’d like to be the one to give that face the fist it so badly needs. Unfortunately, here in the US, we don’t call that “backpfeifengesicht,” we call it “assault.” And we wouldn’t recommend it.
Fortunately, we’ve got something else we can recommend instead: send them the Fist of Fury. Not only does this protect you from assault charges, they won’t even know you were the one who sent it to them. We can’t promise the Fist of Fury will leap out of the box when opened and deliver the punch you wish you could, but we can’t promise it won’t, either.
But wait, it gets even better. The Fist of Fury isn’t just any giant silicone fist. It’s actually a fist-shaped dildo. So you’re not just telling them someone wants to punch them in the face, you’re telling them to shove a fist up their various orifices. Yikes. The only way it could possibly be better is if it had a middle finger sticking out. But, a fist sends a pretty firm message, too. It’s less “fuck you” and more “go fist yourself.” Which, now that we think about it, might be even more offensive.
When you order this item, we’ll send it to whomever you choose, wherever you choose, with no indication of who sent it to them. We’ll only ever reveal your identity if ordered to by a subpoena. ShopInPrivate.com’s Revenge products are the best way to get back at someone cheaply, effectively, and anonymously.