Gummy Penises - Tell Someone to Eat a Bag of Dicks
- Gummy Penises
- A variety of fruit flavors
- Great way to say, "Eat a bag of dicks!"
If you've ever wanted to tell someone to go eat a bag of dicks, these gummy penises are the perfect way to do just that. ShopInPrivate.com's Revenge products let you anonymously get your payback.
With our revenge services, we try to provide a wide variety of embarrassing gifts that you can tailor to fit the person you’re pissed off at. You want to tell someone they’re sweaty, they’re hairy, they stink, they’re bad at sex; we’ve got you covered. But even our highly-trained revenge experts can’t be prepared for everything. Whatever are you supposed to send to a sweet-smelling sex god with baby-smooth skin and armpits as dry as the sahara?
Well, you could always tell them to eat a bag of dicks. That’s a pretty universally understood “fuck you.” We’ve heard there’s a small tribe somewhere in the Amazon who see it as a compliment, but we’re guessing you’re probably not trying to mail them a revenge gift. No revenge is worth the shipping costs to the middle of the rainforest.
These gummy penises come in a variety of fruit flavors which actually taste pretty good. You might think this is the opposite of the message you want to be sending; shouldn’t you mail them something that tastes awful? But that would be a rookie mistake. If you send them a pickled squid or a hunk of moldy bread, they’ll just throw it out immediately. But they won’t be able to stop eating these tasty little gummy dicks, no matter who’s watching. Their coworkers or family members will point and laugh, but they’ll just keep munching away at that bag of dicks, and the shame and calories will build and build. Revenge never tasted so sweet.
When you order this item, we’ll send it to whomever you choose, wherever you choose, with no indication of who sent it to them. We’ll only ever reveal your identity if ordered to by a subpoena. ShopInPrivate.com’s Revenge products are the best way to get back at someone cheaply, effectively, and anonymously.