Subtle Butt - Fart Absorbing Pads You Stick To Your Underpants

Flatus experts agree: the SBD is even worse than the loudest fart. At least the sound of a bedsheet being ripped in half gives those in the danger zone a fighting chance of escaping in time, while a Silent But Deadly brings only quiet death. Both types are horrible. But who is the real victim here, the people gasping for non-methanized oxygen, or the poor soul who suffers the humiliation of being called a Human Waste Dump by former loved ones?

Let’s put this nonsense to rest once and for all. Subtle Butt from The World's Most Private Store uses antimicrobial carbon in five “Saving Graces” pads that can be installed in your underwear or pants. Just peel off the adhesive backing and stick one where the sun don’t shine, but not on your skin. The wavy lines of putrid stench pass directly through the carbon filter and come out the other side smelling considerably less stinky. After it is sufficiently befouled, peel off the pad and apply a fresh one. And then take a hard look at your diet. People aren’t supposed to smell like that.