Wash Your Nuts with this Soap on a Rope

There are just so many ways for nuts to get dirty. They fall from a tree and land in a pile of horse manure. Squirrels bury them in the ground and forget about them for years and years. You walk around all day keeping them crammed in your dark, confined, sweaty underpants... wait, hold on, I think I might have gotten a little mixed up with that last one. Well, you’ll have to forgive me for getting a little confused. I’ve been staring at this product all day, and it’s a lot to wrap your mind around. It’s a pair of nuts that you use to wash your nuts. You can wash your nuts with these nuts. What does that even mean? It means science has gone too far, if you ask me.

Okay, let’s break it down piece by piece. It’s shaped like a pair of acorns, so that’s pretty straightforward - it’s a pair of nuts. And it’s soap, which you use to wash things, like, for example, your nuts. And on top of all that, it’s almond-scented? I think that might just be too nutty for me to handle.

But that’s not all. The sturdy bit of string sticking out the top means that this is also a perfect example of the classic “soap on a rope” - because, you know, this thing wasn’t easy enough to make jokes about already.

Wash Your Nuts Soap on a Rope makes a hilarious gag gift for a bachelor party, birthday party, or any other special occasion. Although honestly, with a pair of these in hand, you can make any occasion a special one. It’s not every day you get to shout “Wash your nuts!” at your friend while swinging a pair of aromatic acorns around on a rope. Well, actually, if you own a pair of aromatic acorns on a rope, maybe that would become an every day event. It sure would for me.

260 g / 9.2 oz of almond-scented soap.