Regain Urinary Clamp
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The Regain Urinary Clamp states, in big letters right on the front of its instruction manual, that you can use it to “Regain Your Active Lifestyle.” But for me, it did exactly the opposite.
Before Regain, I had a very active nightlife as a vigilante crimefighter known as Piss Man. I had the power to pee all over anyone or anything whenever I wanted to, and even a lot of times that I didn’t want to. So I used this power for good by letting loose my leaky bladder upon all the ne’er-do-wells and miscreants of the world. Criminals would run at the smell of my awesome might. They were so afraid that some of them would even try to mimic my powers. But none could ever hope to be a match for my uncontrollable fury and urine (I liked to call it furyne).
But ever since I started wearing Regain, I just can’t call upon the torrential flood of justice like I used to. It completely stops the urine from trickling out without a moment’s notice like it used to. And you know, you can’t just go up to a criminal, tell them to stop committing a crime, and not pee all over them while you’re doing it. That wouldn’t be effective at all. So now I’ve had to give up crimefighting entirely. My life is less active than ever. Thanks a lot, Regain.
The Regain Urinary Clamp is made of soft foam and flexible plastic. The clamps should not be washed, but rather discarded and replaced after use.
This package comes with 3 Regain clamps.